EL PATO SALSA de JALAPENO

El Pato Salsa de Jalapeno, you tricked me good.

I picked this stuff up at a little market around the corner from my place at the corner of 161 and Amsterdam. There is usually a woman out front selling freshly made chalupas that are totally worth trying from a sweet modified shopping cart. It's the market I go to to buy my Mexican coke. The kind you drink. Have you had it?

They say they use real sugar in it instead of high fructose corn syrup. I'm not sure if that's true or not, but it is different and way better.

Here is a letter to it:

Dear: Mexican Coke

Dude, the first time I put you in my mouth delicious flavor just started shooting off in every part of my mouth and brain. Thank you for that rad experience, and thank you for allowing me to have that experience again and again every time I buy you at that store where I got the El Pato Salsa de Jalapeno, please don't ever change.

So El Pato. My eyes were drawn to the unappealing can by a yellow piece of paper stuck to the pile that said 2x$1.oo. "Looks disgusting," I thought, but I figured that at 2x$1.00 I couldn't really afford to not give it a go. My economic-minded decision was rewarded.

The Basics:
First off it's awesome. Go buy some. The flavor is a little earthy, the spice level is tolerable for even the... well, my five year old daughter liked it. The consistency is like any canned spaghetti sauce, and I did notice that the first ingredient is tomato puree. I also noticed that there is no Jalapeno listed among the ingredients, but I don't give a care. I'm a bad.

How I used it:
I made a light (if chili can be light) chili. Pink and Kidney beans. Lean ground sirloin. I am generally a fat fanatic, but I've found lean beef best for my stinky chilies. I ground up a mixture of sea salt, peppercorns and big, brown dried mulatto peppers (same store.) I sauteed red onion and some colorful sweet peppers in hot oil then threw in my beef and seasonings; I also used a packet of Sazon Goya Con Culantro Y Achiote. Then I unceremoniously dumped in the beans.

I topped the bowls with cheddar and a way-too-big-for-my-poor-heart scoop of Crema Mexicana - which is basically way sour-er cream, and then I topped mine with chopped habaneros and white onion and a little more black pepper.

My wife, Jessina, opted to top hers with cheddar, Crema and the El Pato, because habaneros make her grumpy sometimes. It looked beautiful, and it tasted delicious.

You surprised me El Pato.

Doesn't El Pato mean the duck?